Getting High-Delusional

I am sitting on a horse
A winning horse
Each time i win
I am high on cocaine
Guess the horse also feeds on it
I crave for it
Day and night
When i don't get it
i am lost and angry
Thinking only of my next dose and kick
Frantically searching ways and means of finding it
All the people around me
Feed me with it
They applaud and cheer for every win i make
I like them around me.
My high, my cocaine
Gets better with parasites around me
What is success if there aren't any
Parasites to suck the blood
Making you feel less guilty
About the selfishness you harbor
Once in a while you do feel remorse and guilt, you desparately want to get rid of it
You wash the cocaine with alcohol
And blow the guilt in flames
You fool yourself into thinking that you love them
Wife, kids, parents and all
You think you have compassion but you know it is only passion-raw, crude, selfish, apologetic
But you know
You are just addicted to the cocaine
Addiction makes me delusional
Delusion of making this world a better place.
Delusion of loving human kind or humans
Delusion of being a good guy.
I need to get high, i need my addiction, i need my delusions
For i live on them.